So,...here are my numbers. No...this ain't no 649-thing....
Quit! Quit - is the word that comes to mind...WTH am I thinking, I can't do this!!! WTF did I get myself into?!
I met with Josh yesterday to figure out my workout. He is my Orientation trainer/coach/slave driver/killer. Oh.....I'm not going to hold anything against him (can I secretly call him Tr"ucker"...?????) Sigh...well, he IS doing exactly what I need - someone to keep me on track...but, tr"uck!"
[SIGH!!!!!!!!!]
First slap in my face: I am Obese. Even the word sounds like a Monster! Oh...ooooh, only by .5%, The J says. I've never been the Big "O"....EVER! Wait...that's a lie. Yes, I have, but that's another story!
My measurements are above - see photo -weight is 152. What are my goals?! Tops is to be healthy, but a nice Sz-8 would be bonus! I miss my small body...my knees do, too!
I told The J that I want health and to slim down. I didn't tell him the Kimmer wants us to have Hard-Rock Bodies...I was afraid he would die laughing. Don't want to be up for murder, ya know?!
So, I trust The J - otherwise, I would have been hauled out of Stone Tree for trying to beat up their trainer while cursing him - and I have gained MUCH knowledge! I have to say...I walked away in complete embarrassment. You have to understand the Era I come from...like, 10" Waist and 20 Minute Workouts. Hmmm.... The J realized I was being honest (and serious) that my back is weak and I no longer have Abs. Matter of fact, Abs are so far hidden within me....I thought it was butter!
I felt sweat threatening to run through every pour. The J-ster said that I wasn't even working out, yet. HELLO...Shut Up!
He tells me, maybe because he has tremendous faith in me (someone has to)...to try working out 5 days/wk. OMG! If I could, I wouldn't have ended up this way. His reply, "Life happens." I see he will not give in to ANY of my excuses. Tr"ucker!"
Onto my next issue: I'm VERY dehydrated....like, a LOT...even though I drink millions of glasses a day and have actually posted a "Times of Use" sheet on the Ladies Washroom Door.
Next issue: Fiber + My Body = filled-up Intestines. Yup...fiber makes me swell. I am one of those rare body-is-somewhat-allergic-to-fiber people. Shakes I take = lots o fiber. I'm a DNA truck up! I say: screw allergies, screw pain...I am determined! [Remind me in a week that I said this...ok?!]
As I said, The J is not my personal trainer, but he seems to be trusting that - for 1 month - I will continue this massacre on my muscles to reach some fabricated goal.
There is a reason why I'm doin' this, right?! RIGHT?!
God Help Me!
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