...I was in a panic to call my Father-in-law...[I refuse to use "ex" with Sandra & Roger]...you see, 3 years ago in Feb....I found out the news that would make us live in fear and devastation..."Roger has cancer. Pancreatic & Lung...." It was like I was hit in the stomach with an axe.
I met Sandra & Roger when I was 17...I started dating their son. And, at a time when I needed my Dad (whom could not be there for me at the time)...I had Roger. Roger became my Dad. And, he was very much a part of my life for 17 years. I have been separated for 9 years now, but have kept in constant contact with Sandra & Roger...after all, they were/are my family regardless! And, I had my 2 boys to consider,as well!
Kyle was my first child...and first Grandchild on both sides of the family...then, before any others came along...I had Ryan, my second child. So...Grampy Thibodeau is very special to them.
So, I got to talk to Roger yesterday and it was one of the hardest things for me to do. The realization that he has gone 3 years with these horrible cancers, that the treatments stopped in July, that he is under palliative care, that he is losing weight like crazy, that his voice no longer sounds strong like the man I gained strength from, and saying the words "I love you..." knowing it could be the last time... just about killed me. He told me to hug the boys and kiss them....tell them how much he loves them...and, to tell them the importance of keeping in touch. :) I cried...and I cried. My heart is sobbing....I miss him and he isn't even gone yet.
The one thing I am very thankful and grateful for...I am able to converse with him. He is still alive and functioning, and he knows exactly how I feel! I love you, Roger...thanks for filling in as a Dad when I needed one....and thanks for being a fantastic Grampy to the 2 most precious things in my life: Kyle & Ryan! Muah...I love you all the sky!
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