When people die...

...it totally sucks.
I know,...very intelligent words, Donna...but, reality is: it sucks!
So many of my family members have died of cancer. Pretty much all of them. I have friends struggling with it, friends just winning the battle [KUDOS], and those that have no choice but to just wait.
What would you do, or how would you feel knowing that you have cancer...and your death bed has been served??? The one thing I suggest to all of you is to get rid of the negatives ASAP...and surround yourself with happiness & positive & laughter. It won't mean you are naive to the fact...just filling your cells with good energy. Now, if I could be that strong --- kudos to me. I seem to always be better at helping others than myself!!!!
Right now, I don't feel ready to go. Do we ever? I'm not sure. All I know is that there is a huge beautiful world that I want to eventually explore with the "one I love" or AKA, partner.
My father-in-law [I refuse to use ex] is currently battling pancreatic & lung cancer - for over 3 years. It hurts me to have to talk to him on the phone [he lives 2 provinces away]...don't get me wrong...I love him dearly and he certainly has been a Dad to me. But, that's just it. He has a death sentence....we are just waiting. And, to know that each phone call could be the last - well, it is killing me inside. I asked him to be honest with me throughout the course of it: How do you really feel? Are you scared? Does it hurt? Are you staying positive? Are the Nurses good to you [I knew they would be]....And, he has been honest. Last I spoke to him: he was no longer eating, but was not in pain. And, he said he was probably getting weaker. No,..he was getting weaker. He has been one of the strongest people in my life [and still is]...I am going to miss him terribly. It's horrible when you sit there and can imagine the funeral of someone you love dearly....all because you know the time is coming.
As far as I know....at this exact moment...he is still hanging on. I am proud of how you have handled this battle, Roger! You are an inspiration! I love you and wish I could hug you one more time!